A Case for Giving Thanks—Even When Chaos Surrounds You
Thanksgiving can feel especially brutal during presidential election years, can’t it? Many of us are already bracing for the difficult conversations and emotional tension that seem to come with the territory. It’s easy to get distracted by the anticipation of awkward debates and family drama, but in doing so, we risk losing sight of the true purpose of the holiday. This year, I encourage you to shift your focus away from the chaos and toward something that’s been scientifically proven to boost both your mental and physical health: giving thanks.
Here’s how practicing gratitude can benefit you this holiday season:
1. It Helps You Sleep Better
Let’s be honest—you’ll need all the rest you can get when those family conversations start to get a little... intense. Research shows that practicing gratitude can improve the quality of your sleep, helping you feel more rested and better prepared to handle any holiday stress. So, take a moment to focus on the positives before you head to bed—it could make all the difference for the next day.
2. It Reduces Anxiety and Depression
Multiple studies have found that gratitude is linked to lower levels of anxiety and depression. If you find yourself feeling a bit down around the holidays, practicing gratitude can help you shift your mindset and prevent the seasonal blues from taking over. It’s a simple, but effective tool to help you stay balanced.
3. It Makes You Enjoy Life More
It’s easy to focus on what’s going wrong in life—whether it’s a beat-up car or a to-do list that never ends. But shifting your perspective to focus on the things that are going well can make a world of difference. Taking time to acknowledge the positives in your life helps you savor the moments that matter.
4. It Helps You Age Better
In his book Triumphs of Experience, George Vaillant found that people who age most successfully aren’t the ones obsessing over cholesterol and waistlines—they’re the ones who practice gratitude and forgiveness. So, forget the Botox. You might just find that being thankful has the power to keep you feeling (and looking!) younger.
5. It Makes You a Better Friend
We all want friends who’ve got our backs. Practicing gratitude has been shown to boost prosocial behaviors, like offering emotional support and helping others. So, when you focus on gratitude, you not only improve your own well-being—you also become a better friend, spouse, and family member.
6. It Strengthens Your Heart
This isn’t just a metaphor. A 1995 study found that practicing gratitude can actually change your heart rate variability, which may help lower blood pressure and reduce the risk of sudden death in patients with heart issues. Gratitude might just be a secret weapon for your heart health.
7. It Makes You More Resilient
Gratitude can help you respond to criticism and challenges with greater resilience. People who regularly practice gratitude are better equipped to handle negative comments without taking them personally or reacting impulsively. So, when difficult or unsolicited opinions come your way this Thanksgiving, you may find yourself able to respond with more patience and composure.
You might be thinking: “But I’m just not the gratitude type. It’s hard for me to feel thankful, especially with the family dynamics I’ve got going on.” I get it. But gratitude is a habit that anyone can develop. Start small. Write down a few things you’re grateful for each week and share that list with a friend or loved one. The more you practice, the easier it gets.
Another great way to introduce gratitude into your life is by borrowing from the Japanese Naikan tradition of meditation. It encourages you to reflect on three simple questions:
What have I received from __________?
What have I given to __________?
What troubles or difficulties have I caused __________?
These questions help you reflect on your relationships—especially the difficult ones—and understand your role in shaping the dynamics. They offer a more balanced view of how we interact with others, helping us cultivate empathy and gratitude.
At the end of the day, giving thanks is a choice. You can choose to focus on the chaos, the discomfort, or the things that irritate you. Or, you can choose to focus on gratitude. The science is clear: gratitude can make you healthier, happier, and more resilient. So, why not give it a try this Thanksgiving?
And hey, even if your family drives you nuts, remember: it could always be worse. Always.
Now, I’d love to hear from you—what are you grateful for this Thanksgiving?