Beyond Fear: Two Steps to a Better Conversation About Mental Health
Over the past decade, mental health has been at the forefront of public discourse, often in response to tragic events. We’ve seen mass shootings, high-profile suicides, and acts of violence linked—sometimes inaccurately—to mental illness. When tragedy strikes, conversations about mental health often follow, but unfortunately, they are frequently rooted in fear, stigma, and misinformation rather than empathy and understanding.
When people do scary or harmful things for reasons we don’t understand, it’s natural to feel afraid. Fear often drives us to seek simple explanations, and all too often, that means reducing complex mental health issues to dangerous stereotypes. But what if we took a different approach? What if, instead of fear, we responded with curiosity? Instead of stigma, we turned to understanding?
To truly grasp mental health, we need two key ingredients: empathy and accurate information.
Step 1: Lead with Empathy
When something frightens us, it’s often because we don’t understand it. One of the most powerful ways to reduce fear is to seek out understanding—to get close to the experiences of others rather than recoiling from them. This requires genuine curiosity, openness, and a willingness to ask thoughtful, compassionate questions.
In the wake of tragedies linked to mental health, we often hear stigmatizing statements like:
“People with mental illness shouldn’t have high-responsibility jobs. It’s too risky.”
“Suicide is the most selfish thing someone can do.”
“We need to lock up people with schizophrenia to make the world safer.”
These statements don’t reflect the reality of mental health. Instead, they serve to push difficult emotions away, making complex situations seem simpler than they actually are. Empathy, however, takes the opposite approach—it seeks truth rather than blame.
Empathy sounds like this:
“I wonder what people struggling with mental illness find most helpful?”
“I don’t understand how depression can lead to suicide. Maybe I should ask someone who has experienced it.”
“Are people with mental illness actually more violent, or is that a misconception?”
By asking these kinds of questions, we open ourselves up to deeper understanding and genuine connection. Research has shown that engaging with people who have lived experience of mental illness reduces stigma and increases compassion. The more we learn, the less we fear.
Step 2: Get the Facts
Misinformation about mental health is pervasive. Many widely held beliefs about mental illness are not supported by research, yet they continue to shape public perception. Let’s address a few of these myths with evidence-based facts.
Myth: People with schizophrenia are violent and dangerous.
Fact: The vast majority of individuals with schizophrenia are not violent. Studies consistently show that people with serious mental illnesses are far more likely to be victims of violence than perpetrators (Swanson et al., 2015). The risk of violence only increases when mental illness is combined with substance abuse—just as it does for the general population.
Myth: Suicide is a selfish act.
Fact: People who die by suicide often feel like a burden to their loved ones, not realizing that their presence is valued. Depression and other mental illnesses can distort thinking, making suicide seem like a logical or even altruistic choice (Joiner, 2005). Suicide prevention efforts emphasize that reaching out and showing support can be life-saving.
Myth: Mental illness makes people unfit for work.
Fact: Many people successfully manage mental health conditions while excelling in their careers. With appropriate treatment and workplace support, individuals with mental illnesses contribute meaningfully across all industries. High-profile advocates like Olympian Simone Biles and actor Ryan Reynolds have openly discussed their struggles with anxiety and depression while continuing to achieve excellence in their fields.
For accurate mental health information, reliable resources include the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) and Mind (UK). These organizations provide research-backed guidance on mental health conditions, treatments, and ways to support loved ones.
Putting It All Together
Empathy and good information are the foundation of a healthier, more accurate understanding of mental health. They allow us to see beyond the stereotypes and into the lived experiences of real people. They help us recognize that mental illness is not a character flaw, a choice, or a sign of weakness—it is a health condition, one that can be managed and treated with proper care and support.
If you want to make a difference, start by listening. Practice saying words like depression, suicide, and anxiety without discomfort. Engage in conversations about mental health. Check in on friends and family who might be struggling. Become a person others can trust to listen without judgment.
As author and leadership expert Margaret Wheatley reminds us, “Listening is a holy act.” Let’s practice holy listening—pay attention, ask good questions, and commit to seeing the full humanity in those who live with mental health challenges.
Because when we listen with empathy and learn with curiosity, we replace fear with understanding—and that is the first step toward meaningful change.